Thursday, February 24, 2011

How To Get A Supportive Network in Your Adoption

Going through the adoption process can be tough at times. There may be periods when you question yourself and your motherly ability. You may wonder if you are doing the right thing or whether or not the child will take to you. More importantly, you may have serious concerns as to whether will having an adopted child be everything that you and your family believe that it can be or if you will be terribly disappointed about this decision later. Whatever your fears or concerns, having a supportive network can be a real godsend for this stressful and anxious time in your life.

The power of a positive word can be overwhelmingly impactful. During the many days of waiting, being questioned, studying, and emotional tug-of-war that you could possibly be experiencing, you will need to surround yourself with people who can encourage you to hold on to your hopes and dreams. Having someone that you can lean can be absolutely priceless for those going through the tedious process of adoption. While you will grapple with your own insecurities and will muster up every bit of inner strength that you have, the reality is that if there are negative forces around you, they can make the process seem unbearable.

It is best to avoid people who:

1. Constantly question you about the process. They don't know all of the emotions involved with adoption and may not use discretion in their questioning.

2. Give you bad advice about the adoption process. If they are not a professional consultant or have not gone through the adoption process, then, take their advice with a grain of salt. Don't rely on them for all of your answers.

3. Never have a nice word to say about adoption, or you for that matter. Some people just are too blunt. While some of what they say may be valid, though hurtful, you will not want to hear it or be subjected to it during these critical days of waiting.

4. Make you feel that you are wrong. This could be someone who has their own natural children or who just does not like the idea of adoption. Remember that your decision is a personal decision for you and your family. Others don't have to raise your child, so their opinions should be left at that. They are entitled to their own opinions, but, so are you. That being said, it is never "wrong" to want your own child if you have the love, support, and means by which to properly care for him or her.

Use wisdom when choosing your company while going through the adoption process. Being surrounded by negative people can make this experience less than pleasant. You want to start your life with your child on a positive note. You want your family to have a fresh start and a wonderful new addition to it. Protect your vision for your family and your heart from these negative forces that seek to make you believe that you need their approval for your own happiness. Take stock of them, consider your relationships with them, then, stay away from them for now. Truth is, staying away now, could make you realize that you don't need that type of "relationship" in your life now or later.

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